I’m barely scraping in with an I Must Confess post this week! I seem to blink and it’s Monday again already! This week I blinked and woke up as a women who had worn the label “wife” for 7 whole years!
On this day, in 2006, my man and I were wed. But it was not all smooth sailing. From the beginning there were issues – with the date, the location, the bridal party…you name it, someone had an issue with it. When it finally came time to head to Florida for our vows, my body was already in shut-down mode. Two nights before the wedding I had a migraine thanks to family stresses, and the night before the wedding I came down with aches, pains, fevers and the sweats. It wasn’t cold feet, it was the flu settling in.
The weather, which had been perfect all week at our beach-side location, turned to crap the morning of our wedding. Our outdoor gazebo, sunset ceremony became an indoor ceremony. Followed by what most people recall as a great party. I barely remember anything, which unfortunately has more to do with all the cold & flu medicine I’d taken throughout the day than how much I had to drink (I was so sick I barely had a sip of champagne at toasting time!). I must confess, when I think of my wedding day, there’s a part of my heart that hurts. I look happy in the pictures, so I must have enjoyed myself? I just wish I’d been healthy, the weather had cooperated, and I actually remembered any of it! But a couple of years ago I vowed to put my regrets behind me, and move on with life.
Most girls dream of their wedding days. Mine was nothing like what I’d dreamt. Which I guess can be somewhat symbolic of life. I envy people who grow up knowing what they want to do, and they do it. I envy people who figure out what they want to do later in life and do it anyway!
I’ve recently been given a shock to the system. A terrible tragedy that no one my age should have to be faced with. A friend, a mother of two young boys, was given awful news. It made me realise what a waste it is if we are not doing what we love in life. Which is why I must confess, I’m trying to get my photography business* off the ground. Watch this space! I am working out some finer details and will hopefully start pimping my services at the end of the week.
But this scares the absolute crap out of me! It is a whole myriad of things that weighs on my mind. Am I good enough? Can I put myself out there? Can I promote myself with confidence? What if I fail? What if my clients hate my work? What if I don’t get any clients? What if I get clients but don’t get any better? How will I succeed in such a tough industry? There are so many amazingly talented photographers around, how do I compete?
One thing I know is that if I don’t try, I’ll always wonder. If I try and fail, I try again. Or I move on, knowing that I did my best and that was all I could do. I also know that dwelling on the past is futile. It doesn’t change anything and it certainly doesn’t help you see the future clearly. We pick up the pieces and move on, grateful that we are alive and well to do so! We have to.
*I use the term loosely – I clearly still have a whole lot to learn about business AND photography!
Linking up with Kirsty at My Home Truths
And Alicia at One Mother Hen