Born To Do It

While I was sitting staring at a blank screen with a blank mind trying to figure out what to blog about, I jumped on It’s just a habit I have, like opening Google Chrome and clicking on the “Facebook” favourite icon even though I went online to look up a recipe. Anyway, I went to the news site, and after scoffing about everything they consider “news” (It’s 4 years since Tiger Woods was caught cheating – who gives a fuck?! Move on!) I found an article I thought might help me.

Three-step guide to figure out what you were born to do.” I thought this could solve all my problems give me some direction. I know the job I do now, the real one that helps pays the bills, is something I can do, it’s something I am ok at, but I also know that it is not what I was born to do.

Ironically, one of the older gentlemen I work with said to me yesterday, “I never did anything I really wanted to.” There was so much regret in his voice. He talked about how he would love to be a travel photographer, traveling the world doing landscape photography and shooting wildlife (with the camera, not a rifle). It got me thinking about me, 25 years from now. Would I still be in this same job? Would I be saying I never did anything I really wanted to do?

This three-step guide seems pretty basic. Step 1, figure out what you love doing. Not just what you’re GOOD at doing, but what you LOVE doing. Then, step 2, write a list of things you HATE doing. I guess we’re going through a process of elimination here. Step 3 is to ask yourself a series of questions.

1. Even if you didn’t get paid a cent for it, would you still do this?

2. Would doing this inspire you ever day?

3. Does this come as naturally to you as breathing?

4. Do you feel you’ve been given a special gift to do this?

5. Does time seem to fly by when you’re engaged in this activity?

6. Can you possibly make money doing this?

If you can find an activity in which you answer yes to all of these questions…then baby you were born to do it!

Realistically speaking, I’m not sure how people in their 30s or 40s are going to be able to walk away from what they are doing, that pays the bills and puts food on the table, to pursue these dreams. But the lesson I learned yesterday is that you have to try and find a way to.

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There are two things that came to mind for me, going through this process. The first is photography. The second was a subject I took a class in while doing my graduate certificate in business. Again, ironically, I’ve recently looked into applying for my masters degree in this subject. I feel like next year could be a transitional  year for me. Hopefully into something bigger and better that means I don’t have to wake up every day and ask, “Is this REALLY what I’m doing with my life?”

What are you doing with your life? Do you feel like it’s what you were born to do? 

Linking up with Jess for IBOT!

A Strange Thing Happened…

It was Sunday, around noon. I was starting to prepare lunch – nachos! There was a knock at the door.

I was still in my PJs and bra-less! This was the first Sunday in as long as I could remember that we didn’t get up, eat and go get groceries/run errands. Who the heck is knocking on our door?

I open the door to find 2 pint-sized kids standing there in bike helmets. I was confused. Were they lost? “Hi!” I said. “Are you ok?”

“Yes, is Nick here?”

OHHHHH! You want to know if my son can come out to play? I vaguely remember this tradition. It’s something my generation did – played with neighbourhood kids in the street until dark and our parents called us home for dinner. I didn’t realise kids still did this?

“Sure, come in. Niiiick! Your friends are here!” Nick (and The Mechanic) had met Sam and Charlie (and their dad) last weekend in one of the pools in the complex. About 10 minutes later the little girl, who hadn’t spoken 2 words, left. “Is she ok on her own or should you go with her?” I asked Sam, the older of the two. “She’s fine. She’s just going home” he replied.

About an hour or so later, the dad came looking for his son, who still hadn’t taken his bike helmet off but was completely engrossed in playing Lego with my son.

I wasn’t sure whether to be happy because there was another kid in our complex that Nick could become friends with and play outside with (or inside with) or shocked that someone who had met The Mechanic once would let his kids go around to his place to play with his kid. I remember long afternoons and weekends playing on our swing set, in our pool, playing touch football out the front with the neighbourhood kids and riding our bikes through all the parks and paths around our neighbourhood. This generation doesn’t seem to get the opportunity to do those things. Where we live doesn’t really lend itself to the opportunity, being in a unit. I hope one day we’re in a family-friendly neighbourhood where he can do that, where all the parents and neighbours look out for each other and all the kids. Where he can play outside and maybe avoid the addiction to TV, computer games and internet (but it might be too late for that).

Do your kids play outside?

Linking up with Jess for IBOT!



p.s. Have you entered my Scarf Girl scarf give-away yet? Why not? Entries open until Tuesday 3rd of December!

Decisions, Decisions

I think we’ve all been here before. Let’s face it, even the most mundane day is filled with little crossroads. Just today I had to decide if I was going to go shopping after my Dr appointment, or go home. I know, it’s a no-brainer, an easy choice to make. But some decisions are not so easy. Some cross roads are so big, it’s all you can do to get through the intersection quick enough before you get hit by an oncoming train.

I walked into that doctor’s office, not knowing if I was going to ask for a referral back to the fertility clinic, or a prescription for the pill. Being in our mid-30s means it is time for us to take one action or another, when it comes to having more children another child. We need to decide if we are going to try IUI (a simple process in which nurses monitor your hormone levels and the Dr inseminates you right at ovulation) or take necessary precautions to ensure I don’t want to wake up one day, 40 years old and find out I’m pregnant. I don’t mean any disrespect to 40 year olds who are pregnant or women who had babies at 40. If we didn’t have Nick, I probably wouldn’t care how old I was, I’d keep trying until I got a bub. But I always thought my family would be done by 30, 32 at the latest! I had Nick just before I turned 30 and here we are, 35 and 36 years old – not old in most senses of the word, but in fertility years, that’s one foot in the grave, and we’re still trying to get baby number 2. Nick is sensitive, funny, cheeky, kind and caring. While we do realise how  fortunate we are to have one happy, healthy, child, I wish we could have had 5 more just like him*.

People ask why we don’t just go straight to IVF. To be honest, there’s so much about IVF that turns us off.  In comparison to IVF, IUI is inexpensive and it’s un-intrusive, and it may be enough for a couple like us, who have already conceived one child on our own. The upfront expense of IVF, coupled with the emotional and physical demands, is not something we are all that keen to undertake. But ask me again at the end of three rounds of IUI, if they have failed.

I’m hoping that by deciding to go down the path of assisted reproduction, I’ll be able to sleep at night and get some closure on this unwanted chapter of our lives. If the IUI doesn’t work, I will at least know that we tried everything within our power that we are willing to do. On the other hand, if it does work….well this blog will suddenly become very baby-focused and annoying**. I apologise in advance.

So for now we’ve decided to enjoy what is left of 2013, the Christmas silly season, the new year, the school holidays. And then we try – really try – to make this family a family of 4. While my head screams, “Are you sure you want to experience child birth again and suffer sleep deprivation again?” my heart screams, “10 years from now will you regret not trying harder?” So we’re following our hearts, knowing that it is what it is and whatever is meant to be, will be. And that no matter what path we choose, it will be the right one for us.

Have you found yourself at a crossroads lately? How did you decide which path to choose?

* Maybe not 5 more. Not this late in life. I’m too old for that shit. And I know, no 2 kids are ever the same so statistically speaking, 5 more just like Nick is impossible.

** Not saying baby-focused blogs are boring….ok, maybe they are, a little, but only to people who don’t have babies.

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT! Won’t you join us?