I Must Confess….

I’m barely scraping in with an I Must Confess post this week! I seem to blink and it’s Monday again already! This week I blinked and woke up as a women who had worn the label “wife” for 7 whole years!

On this day, in 2006, my man and I were wed. But it was not all smooth sailing. From the beginning there were issues – with the date, the location, the bridal party…you name it, someone had an issue with it. When it finally came time to head to Florida for our vows, my body was already in shut-down mode. Two nights before the wedding I had a migraine thanks to family stresses, and the night before the wedding I came down with aches, pains, fevers and the sweats. It wasn’t cold feet, it was the flu settling in.

The weather, which had been perfect all week at our beach-side location, turned to crap the morning of our wedding. Our outdoor gazebo, sunset ceremony became an indoor ceremony. Followed by what most people recall as a great party. I barely remember anything, which unfortunately has more to do with all the cold & flu medicine I’d taken throughout the day than how much I had to drink (I was so sick I barely had a sip of champagne at toasting time!). I must confess, when I think of my wedding day, there’s a part of my heart that hurts. I look happy in the pictures, so I must have enjoyed myself? I just wish I’d been healthy, the weather had cooperated, and I actually remembered any of it! But a couple of years ago I vowed to put my regrets behind me, and move on with life.

Most girls dream of their wedding days. Mine was nothing like what I’d dreamt. Which I guess can be somewhat symbolic of life. I envy people who grow up knowing what they want to do, and they do it. I envy people who figure out what they want to do later in life and do it anyway!

I’ve recently been given a shock to the system. A terrible tragedy that no one my age should have to be faced with. A friend, a mother of two young boys, was given awful news. It made me realise what a waste it is if we are not doing what we love in life. Which is why I must confess, I’m trying to get my photography business* off the ground. Watch this space! I am working out some finer details and will hopefully start pimping my services at the end of the week.

But this scares the absolute crap out of me! It is a whole myriad of things that weighs on my mind. Am I good enough? Can I put myself out there? Can I promote myself with confidence? What if I fail? What if my clients hate my work? What if I don’t get any clients? What if I get clients but don’t get any better? How will I succeed in such a tough industry? There are so many amazingly talented photographers around, how do I compete?

One thing I know is that if I don’t try, I’ll always wonder. If I try and fail, I try again. Or I move on, knowing that I did my best and that was all I could do. I also know that dwelling on the past is futile. It doesn’t change anything and it certainly doesn’t help you see the future clearly. We pick up the pieces and move on, grateful that we are alive and well to do so! We have to.

*I use the term loosely – I clearly still have a whole lot to learn about business AND photography!

Linking up with Kirsty at My Home Truths

And Alicia at One Mother Hen

10 Things I Love About My Husband {52 Weeks To Simplify Your Life}

This week for Deb’s 52 Weeks to Simplify Your Life challenge we are talking about marriage.

I’m not ashamed to admit that The Mechanic and I met online. I had just got out of a relationship, he was new to the area. I had intentions of going on a lot of first dates, not anticipating any second ones. As it turned out, in a city of 5 million+ people, covering a massive amount of land space, we lived in the same apartment complex, just two buildings away from each other. I often forget that piece of information. I suppose if you were someone who believed in fate/destiny, you’d think that was surely a good example of it.

In the early days

Next year we’ll have been together 10 years (married for 7). I never thought I’d see the day I was with anyone for 1 year let alone 10. All my relationships seemed to fizzle after about 3-4 months. I even joked to The Mechanic early on, “If we’re still together in 6 months, I’ll probably marry you.”

One of the first things I loved about The Mechanic was that he loved his family. When we met, his sister was heavily pregnant with her second child & he carried around pics of her first child (his Goddaughter) in his wallet. As well as the rest of his family. I also loved that he came from a big family – 1 sister, 3 brothers, 5 of them in total.

Neither of us were particularly looking for anything serious. Just casual, occasional company to do things. For the first couple of months I wouldn’t even admit that we were “dating” even though we pretty much saw each other every day. The benefits of living in the same complex! After less than 6 months we moved in together – why pay 2 x the rent if we’re only ever in one apartment?

The next thing I loved about the mechanic was that he loved my cat, Colby, and Colby loved him. It takes a real man to admit he loves cats! They even looked after each other while I was out of town for work.

Our Wedding (obviously)

Here’s 8 other things I’ve since come to love about my husband:

* He is thoughtful. He puts a lot of effort into gifts, surprises, and doing things for me that he thinks I might like or appreciate. I’ve talked before about how he likes to surprise me and spoil me with great gifts here and here. Most recently, he surprised me with a Canon 5D Mark III to go with the new lens he got me! I almost fell off my chair.

* He is a really hard worker. He is perhaps one of the last of the generation of hard workers. He doesn’t expect to be paid well to sit around and do nothing. This is a wonderful characteristic to have, but can also be frustrating when he is really sick and won’t call out from work! I do love that he respects his boss and his job, though.

* He’s the most hands-on father I know. Our son is lucky to have him for a dad. He reads to Nick, takes him to the theme parks, takes him for ice cream, lets him help around the house and with his truck, there is nothing he wouldn’t do for that kid.

First photo as a family of 3

* He was willing to move to the other side of the world for me to be near my family so we could start our own family. I know how hard it is to move to the other side of the world knowing few, if any, people. That quite easily could have backfired on us but I’m lucky (and thankful) that he loves it here, even though I know at times it’s really hard for him to be so far from his family. We knew when we got married that one family or the other would always be missing out on having us close, and that’s not easy to live with. But we knew we had to do what was ultimately right for us. So far we don’t have one regret about moving here.

* He believes in me. He wouldn’t have bought me a Mark III if he didn’t! When I said I wanted to go back to school, he not only supported me, he encouraged me. He knew that I could handle it and wanted me to succeed. When I said I wanted to go to personal training and try to start running again, he bought me a Lorna Jane gift card and new running shoes. He has been my biggest supporter through this fitness/weight loss journey, and I don’t think I could have done it without him.

* He knows that I work long hours, too, and he picks up more than his fair share of household chores while I’m not at home. He cooks when I work late, he does the grocery shopping every week, he does laundry & dishes, too. He doesn’t see his job as more important than mine, or feel that I should still do all the household chores just because I’m the wife.

* He’s smart. He knows a lot about a lot. He’s handy, he can watch things and/or read things and remember them. He would have made a great doctor. How much different can it be memorizing body parts/illnesses and car parts/known issues? I really hope Nick got his daddy’s brains.

* He’s made mistakes, and so have I. But we’re still here. We find ways to get through the tough times so that we can enjoy the good times. He’s willing to fight for what we have, even when it feels like a losing battle, we always seem to come through it.

Most recent family pic

Linking up for week 41 of Deb’s 52 Weeks to Simplify Your Life challenge.

Contentedness

Happy February! Did you know it’s our 6th anniversary this year? It is, in less than 2 weeks! As a whisper of advice, don’t ever get married so close to Valentine’s Day. It puts a dampener on the celebrations, to be celebrating with so many other people.

I’ve been struggling to come up with blog posts lately and do you know, I think it’s because of my gratitude journal.

I know I keep going on and on about it, but don’t you find most of the time, blog posts come about because the author has something to say, something that has rubbed them the wrong way, something they are, for better or worse, passionate about. That or they have a lot going on in their lives to keep their blog posts entertaining.

Since I started my gratitude journal, I am so much less bitter about a lot of things. I don’t see the point in complaining or having a whinge about things that you really probably can’t change. And even if you can change it, then just do it. Don’t whinge about it. Once in a while if something really irritates me or if it’s That Time Of Month, I will probably have a bit of a tanty, but really, there is nothing so bad in our lives right now that has sent my blogging-juices flowing. We have far much more to be thankful for than we have to be upset about. Where that leaves my blog, I don’t know, it may just end up being a 52 Weeks To Simplify Your Life blog. I’ll have to think about it, because I actually enjoy not having the pressure of busting out a blog entry.

I think that instead of trying to analyze it, I will just accept it, and be grateful that I am in such a state of contentment. Who knows how long it will last??