When Life Hands You Lemons

Order a side of salt and tequila!

Hi there. How are you? It’s been a while, hasn’t it. There might be a couple of you who will still read. I guess we’ll see.

It’s hard to believe it’s a new year. It’s harder still to believe that I haven’t blogged for 5 months. What have I been doing, you ask? Oh not much. I graduated with my masters in marketing. And separated from my husband.

Yep. I’ve joined the ranks of esteemed bloggers who have gone through this in the last couple of years. Ok, they’re esteemed, and I’m barely even a blogger any more. Don’t judge me.

It’s a surreal avalanche of emotions, this separation biz. Even when things are about as amicable as they possibly could be, even when you feel like the decision in the end was yours, you still run the gamut of feelings – some normal, some expected, some surprising. Anger, sadness, grief, relief, disbelief, depression, failure, doubt, fear…need I go on? It is overwhelming. It is freeing. It is empowering. It is scary. It is sad. And then you add the emotions of having kids involved.

A few things I’ve come to believe over the last 2 months:
* A marriage break down does not make you a failure
* It’s ok to not be able to make things work
* You don’t have to be married or living together to be great parents
* If the kids best interests come first, always, you will be ok
* It’s much more pleasant, and a bit easier, to be on good terms with each other
* Flexibility also makes it easier on everyone involved
* Friends will try to be helpful, but unless they’ve been through it, they don’t get it
* Everyone will have their opinion and advice; take it all with a grain of salt
* The idea of dipping back into the dating pool is terrifying (and it turns out, tragic)
* Achievements in life are great, but if you don’t have family to celebrate them with they don’t seem to mean as much

I’m not sure if this post means I am coming back to blogging. Or if it is just something I had to do for myself given my current situation. Life events as big as this apparently offer a lot of blog inspiration.
How to Tell The Kids You’re Separating
What Not to Say to a Friend Going Through a Separation
How to Navigate Tinder / Profile Pictures Not to Use on Dating Sites / Cheesy Pickup Lines Used on Tinder / Why Dating on the Gold Coast is Impossible / Insert Inane Dating Post Here
How to Survive on $50 a Week as a Single Parent
The Roller Coaster of Emotions When Separating

There is much to say. There is much to feel. I’m just not sure it all needs to be published for anyone who stumbles across it to read. I am considering a “Tragic Tinder” post. It is depressing separating from your spouse. It is almost as depressing when you realise that if you dove into the dating pool you’d crack your head open. It is that shallow. Here on the Gold Coast anyway. It’s a good thing I really like my own company. And that I just got new running shoes. I think I’ll be spending a great deal of time in 2016 running. Away from something or to something? Time will tell. In the mean time, tequila shots anyone?

 

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7 thoughts on “When Life Hands You Lemons

  1. Oh love. I wish I had words that could equate to a hug, a warm cup of tea (or an ice cold vodka) and a listening ear if you need it.

    Congratulations on your masters, that’s a huge achievement. I don’t envy you navigating the dating pool here, after hearing tales of my sisters (separated with an 8yo) attempts, it’s depressing as hell to imagine starting fresh… and maybe a little exciting. I don’t know, I can barely make new friends without massive amounts of anxiety and awkwardness.

    • Thanks Kyla. I think the problem is no one actually wants to genuinely get to know anyone anymore. The art of conversation is dead, probably because we are too burried in our phones or too many people (read: men) not wanting attachments, just having fun. Can’t believe how many guys in their late 30s and their 40s don’t have kids and list “Travel and good times” as their life. Ah well, good thing I like my own company an awful lot 😉

  2. I just found your blog and I hope you do go back to it. Perhaps it could be a form of therapy? Divorce is horrendous but I agree it’s also fabulously freeing. Who knows what is around the corner for you but I bet it’s wonderful.

  3. Just wanted to say you will make a splash in the dating pool, but you have a lot on your plate at the moment so don’t bother – but some one will sweep you off your feet when the dust settles, so never fear that.
    You will have people to celebrate the achievements with too.
    Like all things, it takes time…good luck!

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