Let’s Fly Away

Isn’t it funny, how you can be so tightly wound and stressed-out that doing something you fear the most sounds like the best idea ever. That was me, a few weeks ago – stressed to the max, when a friend asked if I was interested in a girls weekend in Sydney. “I’M IN!” I texted back. Then I thought, “Fuck. I have to get on a plane. By myself.” For a while I considered all kinds of reasons to get out of it. But the truth was, I was so desperate for a break, to get away from life, and I joked that, “I may not ever come back!” Partly because I really thought I wanted to run away forever, partly because I thought “I’m flying, that’s it, I’m going to die!”

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I will admit, I needed anti-anxiety pills to help me get through both flights, but I did it. On my own, with only minor freak out at the end where we were landing and everything underneath us was black – water – until the last minute when THANK GOD THERE WAS LAND! And my mind wondered, “Who the fuck builds runways out into the ocean anyways?”

A friend of mine said, “You sure do fly a lot for someone who is terrified of flying.” Well, I have two answers to that. Firstly, I don’t think flying three times (six including the return trip) in 18 months is “a lot” and secondly, I don’t want my irrational fear to keep me from doing things, seeing places and visiting people I love. As a bonus to having a girls weekend, I also got to meet my new baby nephew and see my 22 month old niece on this trip! I got 4 nights away from reality. It was exactly what I needed.

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So what if I needed a small dosage of Xanax to get there and back. So what if I was terrified for 20 seconds that we were going to land in the water? The 5 days away made it worth it. Funnily enough, when I dropped my son at school Friday before going to the airport, I cried the whole way back to my car. Mostly because I was really going to miss him, a little bit because I thought, “If my plane crashes, this will be the last time I see him.” I have a flare for the dramatic. I wanted a break so badly, but when it actually came time to leaving, I didn’t want to go. I was coming home Tuesday night, by Monday night I missed home so terribly a part of me wished I was going home that night. Two nights away wouldn’t have been enough, but four was one too many. A little tip for any of you considering a break from reality.

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I may not ever really get over my fear of flying, but I will find ways around it, ways to manage it. Otherwise I will miss out on so much.

What fear do you feel and do it anyway? What don’t you want to miss out on?

Linking up with Essentially Jess for I Blog On Tuesdays 

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28 thoughts on “Let’s Fly Away

  1. I think after a year of having to say no to most things, due to health, even though I’m still suffering health wise I’ve had a fear of missing out and have started to say YES to a bit too much lately.

    My hubby is at sea for a month at the moment. I’m tempted to put in for long service leave from the household when he returns and get away myself.

  2. I’m a bit of the “feel and the fear and do it anyway” type, but only for sensible things. That motto doesn’t apply to ridiculous and entirely unnecessary things like bungee jumping or throwing oneself off a plane for fun. Glad to hear your trip away was rejuvenating. As soon as I saw the heading I was nodding furiously. YES! LET’S FLY AWAY RIGHT NOW!!

    • I am with you on bungee jumping and throwing myself out of a perfectly good plane (I don’t like planes, but not enough to jump out of them!) but things that I know are perfectly safe but freak me out – those things I try to do and push all that fear way back in the back somewhere it can’t get out.

  3. Good on you for facing your fears and finding a way to manage them. Spending time with your niece and nephew would have made it all worthwhile. My fears, I guess, are losing one of my loved ones especially my children or husband, failure, death and public speaking. Eek.

    • I am starting to think xanax is the answer to everything 🙂 HA! I wish I could have spent longer with my niece and nephew but it was great to see them even if only for a day. And yes, losing a loved one, well, mostly my son, is my biggest fear ever.

  4. Glad you had such a great break. I have a general fear of not making a difference – I think I’d rather a more specific fear of flying. Either way, its about facing them so we can live life fully.

    • I think I have accepted I am not going to make a difference. Not on the big stage anyway. I guess it’s about the differences we make every day. I know 2 kids whose lives are drastically different because of you xo

  5. I have a flare for the dramatic too! I never used to fear flying but seem to have developed a fear. Last time I was on a plane, I nearly broke the hand off the lady sitting next to me who kindly held my hand through the take-off and landing – the two parts that freak me out the most. Doesn’t stop me flying though – not that I get to go on a plane much at all anyway!! I’m glad you had a lovely break away. It’s always good for the soul to have a change of scenery 🙂 xo

  6. I’m so glad you faced our fear and went on the trip. Flying is hard, whether you fear the flying itself or not. Flying comes with all whole bag of other emotions we need to deal with and face – leaving our loved ones, meeting someone new, facing new adventures or even facing sadness or loss. It is not just the flight we face when we board the plane but the emotions of why we are taking that flight in the first place and what it means to us. Always take the flight, even if it is with Xanax xx

  7. So glad that you were able to take the break that you so deserved. This mothering wifeing gig can be serious hard work sometimes. I think it is awesome you were able to push past your fears. Sending lots of fairy wishes and butterfly kisses your way lovely

  8. You do so well that you still do it, even though you are terrified about it. I really admire you. Like I told Ava the other week, being brave isn’t about not being scared, it’s about being scared and still doing it anyway. Nick will learn so much about that from you. xx

    • Aww thanks Jess. Thing is, at this point, I prefer him not to know I’m scared of flying. When we have flown as a family, he’s had to sit on the other side of Mike so he can’t see/hear me freaking out. It’s not something I want to pass on to him! But one day hopefully he will understand and learn from it.

  9. I don’t enjoy flying either but I try and busy myself while on the flight. When you fly with kids you are definitely occupied! I’m glad you had a good trip away. A change of scenery and routine can really give clarity and be a great stress relief.

  10. Good on you for facing your fear and doing it anyway. One of the things that I fear is making phone calls. I worry that I am going to make an idiot of myself. Often, the only way to do it, is just dial the number and put the phone to my ear without even thinking about it. The more I think about it, the more I talk myself out of it.

    • I have to make phone calls for work which doesn’t bother me so much. But outside of work I’ll do just about anything to be able to send a text or email instead! I think a LOT of people are like that!

  11. we’d have to sy that starting our blog was one of the biggest leaps of faith we ever took. we contemplated it for a while before actually getting started. we were always worried about whether people would enjoy what we put up, what comments we were going to get, etc. But we decided to just go for it, and we haven’t looked back since!

    http://mkstyleramblings.blogspot.com.au/

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