For a while now, my anxiety has been growing. Not just growing, but spreading. I thought I was just afraid to fly, turns out I’m becoming generally afraid of living. I get anxious over doing things because I think that something terrible is going to happen. Just look at the news – woman crushed to death in driveway while holding 4 year old son, search and recovery for 5 year old swept out to sea, 7 year old lost in snow, dies. Bad things happen when you go outside! This is what my brain gets from all these news stories.
So when a hike up Mt. Warning was proposed by friends, we initially said yes! It sounded great! But come the day, the butterflies started to build – what if something happened? I tried a last ditch attempt to get out of it, but failed.
As it turned out, something DID happen. I did something I never thought I would be able to do. Something my husband and a friend we climbed with also didn’t think I would do.
I climbed all the way to the summit, scaling the rocks and pulling myself up by the chain (approximately half a km straight up!).
(source)
The tragedy I thought would happen turned out to be a mildly twisted ankle that I managed to do coming back down the mountain. It was nothing compared to my worst fear – someone falling OFF the mountain!
Even with the anxiety, even with the fears, I have never wanted those things to stop me from going places, doing things, and having experiences like we had today. My son, just 6 years old, smashed the mountain! Sure by the end he was a bit over it – weren’t we all? He did so amazingly well, and did it with enthusiasm and excitement. One thing I am really conscious of is ensuring I don’t pass my anxiety on to him. He was a real trooper, as my husband’s runkeeper said 9.5km in the end.
It turns out, if you face your fears, you get rewarded with great experiences, and in this instance, great views.
What are you afraid of? Does it stop you from living?
Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT!
Colours of Sunset 
I hope you’re on the mend lovely – go you for smashing that anxiety and getting up that big mofo hill baby! I’m afraid of bugs… and of bad health hitting someone I love, that shit freaks me out. x
I’ve been saying ‘yes’ to a lot more things lately and then cancelling at the last minute because I’m not my usual healthy self and I’ve put on weight as a result. I almost cancelled my latest blog post, which is a little too real and raw for my usual liking, but in the end I asked myself what was the worst thing that could happen. Perhaps I need to start asking myself what’s the best thing that can happen?
Good on you hon. Constantly fearing what if was one of the worst parts of my anxiety and depression (my meds thankfully keep it low level now). I can imagine how hard it was to start up that mountain! You did it! So many more mountains for you to smash xxx deb
I so get your anxiety. I am similar with grave thoughts of what might happen. The truth is you have no control, so have to fear the fear and do it anyway. Great that you made it to the top. It’s tough getting up the chain I believe.
Carolyn
oh you are AMAZING!!! It is so brilliant that you were able to ignore your anxiety for a day. It is such a BIG thing to do this!!
Woo good on you! I’m doing Mt Warning in a few weeks time, slightly nervous but so excited to get the awesome view from the top. #teamIBOT
Woohoo!! Good on you. That is amazing what you did. Looking at that pic, I don’t think I’d ever be able to do that. I am a natural born worrier and have a few anxiety issues myself so I get how much you wouldn’t have wanted to go on that hike. I’m so glad you did though 🙂
Congrats on squashing your fears amongst all that anxiety. You are a legend Aroha.
There is nothing to fear, but fear itself. I’m so glad you pushed yourself – I totally hear you. I am terrified of flying, and I’ll be really sad if one day that stops me travelling…but for now, I suffer through it….
Good on you!
I get anxious about some things, (mostly to do with Boats), but I have to put it out of my mind. Otherwise, like you said, you just want to stay inside forever and never go out!
Wow! Well done! What a lovely family outing. My brother and his GF climbed Warning last Saturday morning, I didn’t realise how beautiful it is.
Sometimes anxiety for me flares up during weeks where there are a lot of “child death” stories reported in the news. Accidents, really. It makes me sick to my stomach. But I’m trying really really hard not to let this rub off on my kids. You showed your son an excellent example here!
That walk looks amazing I had to google it to check out where it was was. Sometimes I think difficullt challenges in hard times can be really life changes. I am sorry your anxiety is taking over, it is super crap, I call anxiety a little bitch because that is what she is. It sounds like you have some great perspective. I hope tomorrow is a great day xx
Wow. Look at you go! Awesome.
I am extremely afraid of legs dangling in water.
But I have taken to snorkeling to overcome that fear. It’s working. Kind of.
I’d prefer to face a challenge head on than hide from it …
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
I have always said that I don’t really suffer from anxiety..yet it wasn’t until I wrote my post last week that I realised just how much I do actually deal with it on a daily basis.
That picture of you guys is awesome and good on you for facing your fears head on. I can imagine it couldn’t have been easy by any stretch of the imagination.
Amazing work Aroha…. I fear so many things on so many different levels… I am afraid of not doing a good job at work, I am afraid of snakes and spiders and all those creepy crawlies that might bite me and kill me, I am afraid of living this whole life and not being a wife and mother, I am afraid that I won’t live my life while waiting for the previous one to happen!