When I started university in the US back in August of 1996, I had yet to declare a major. As such, on my reports, my major was listed as “undecided.” I feel like, since moving back to Australia over 7 years ago, my future has been “undecided.” I’ve wanted to do plenty of things. I’ve tried some things. I’ve never found ONE THING that I’ve wanted to do for the rest of my life.
I want to be a photographer!
I want a(nother) baby!
I want to go back to uni!
I just can’t make up my mind what I want.
I’ve enrolled in uni, and I am excited about that. I have fancy camera equipment that I am too anxious/shy/hesitant to make a real go of anything with and as a hobby it is bloody expensive. Especially when 99% of the time I take pics with my iPhone.
Last year I was all ready to charge full-steam ahead into assisted fertility treatments to get that baby #2 we have always wanted, but now that Nick is in grade 1 I feel like the time has passed. I really can’t imagine going back to sleepless nights, nappies and all that goes with having a newborn. I’ve seen so many toddler tantrums this week and all I can think is “Thank God we’re past that!”
I know everyone is busy, and I am not trying to say I’m more busy than anyone else, but thinking about my schedule makes me anxious. Between 20 hours a week of uni, 27 hours a week of work, 3 x 1 hour PT sessions, Tuesday ladies tennis, running Nick around to school and gymnastics (thankfully we’ve dropped swimming!)…I feel like something is going to have to give. Unfortunately the only thing I’m willing to give up is the only thing that pays me!
I’m in my mid-30s and I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. I sometimes feel like I’m the only person in the world who feels like that, but then I talk to others, even people older than me, and they’re still trying to figure out what they want to be “when they grow up”.
I think about my grandparents, the generations who went to school, got a job, then stayed in that job until they retired. Does that even happen anymore? People never used to dream of changing jobs, let alone changing careers completely! And we we are, The Mechanic and I, both in our mid-30s and working on big career changes. Mine isn’t necessarily a big step, but his is. It’s both exciting and scary, and I’d just like to hit FF on the next few years (although yes, I know, it will go quicker than we know!).
Tell me we’re not the only ones going through mid-life career changes? What keeps you busy?
Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT! Why not join in?