I must confess. I am pretty vain. If I walk past a mirror or a window, I steal a sideways glance to see how I’m looking. How’s my hair? My clothes? Are they sitting right? Is my tummy jutting out?
I hate going to the shopping centre in my scrubby house clothes, hair unkempt, as that is always when I will run into someone I haven’t seen in years. And yes, I care what they think.
So when I read blogs, tweets, articles or FB statuses about how we shouldn’t care what we look like, that we should be comfortable in our own skin, that we should wear what we want without anyone caring, I admit, I roll my eyes a bit.
What is wrong with wanting to look well presented? What is wrong with wanting to look nice? In my experience, the more I “put myself together” the more confidence I have. The more I think I look good the better I feel.
When I read things or see things on TV about how we shouldn’t tell our kids they are pretty/gorgeous/handsome because it makes them think that is the most important thing in the world, I just don’t get it. I understand what they’re saying, but I don’t agree. I tell my son all the time that he is handsome. I also tell him that he is clever, smart, cute, funny, caring, kind and that he can be anything he wants when he grows up. I don’t feel the need to always follow up “You’re so handsome” with “and smart and kind and caring!” All of this combined, hopefully, contributes to his confidence and self esteem.
I also think what we show our kids is just as important as what we tell them. I grew up with a mother who was always whinging about her weight and always on a diet. I love that my son sees his parents exercise regularly. I love that when I feel and look good, I am confident, and he sees that. I love that at 5 years old, he already talks about what is healthy and what is not. I love that when he works something out he says, “I am clever, am I, mum?” And I say, “The cleverest!”
I don’t think we need to dress down to make a statement. I don’t think we need to de-sex ourselves to make a stand. I think we can be intelligent, kick-ass successful women and be “pretty” at the same time. I think suggesting otherwise just fuels the notion that attractive women are dumb.
What do you tell – and SHOW – your kids?
Linking up with Kirsty at My Home Truths for I Must Confess