10 Reasons To Only Have 1 Child

I met someone last week who had a daughter. She said, “Is Nick your only child?” “Yes,” I replied. “Do you want more?” she asked. My first thought was, “Here we go again!” I said, “Well, we did, it wasn’t our intention to only have one, that’s just how it has worked out. We are coming to terms with it.” Then I found out she only wants the one, but is being harassed by people wanting to know when she’s having the next one.

It was refreshing to meet someone who only wanted one child. They’re fairly rare I find!

Today, as I was hanging out the laundry and thinking of the next load that needs to be done, I wondered how mums of 2, 3, or 7 (Naomi!) manage to keep on top of it. It got me thinking of a mental list as to what benefits there are to having only one child. I thought I’d share them with you. Feel free to add your own reasons!

1. Laundry! 3 people is hard enough to keep up with, without adding more!

2. You get your life (and body!) back much quicker.

3. You only have to experience child birth once.

4. Grocery bills are smaller. Let’s face it, ALL bills are smaller!

5. Family baby sitters are easier to secure.

6. No fighting over who’s turn it is with the iPad (and not having to buy multiple gadgets).

7. Only one lot of homework to worry about.

8. No mini-van needed!

9. Noise level is always at a minimum. No fighting or screaming kids (generally). This is reinforced 2 days a week when I pick up a friend’s son from school. They can be pretty rambunctious and I find myself wanting to hide in my room and give them free reign of the place. Maybe I just wasn’t cut out for multiple kids.

10. Only one set of grandchildren to share yourself between (hopefully AND eventually – in no rush at all to get to that point yet!)

Disclaimer: I think there’s a lot of reasons to have 2 or more kids, too, but I don’t, so I’m not going there. This is as much to convince myself as it is to convince anyone else.

Linking up, because it’s what we do on TUESDAY, with Essentially Jess for I Blog On Tuesdays (IBOT)


45 thoughts on “10 Reasons To Only Have 1 Child

  1. Just as there are reasons to have no children! Have an many children that is possible and feels right for you. Glad you found someone to not launch into the “more children” topic, and actually identify with you! It’ll probably become more and more common to have one child – just my guess.

  2. People are idiots. (just saying). Why do they care? (it’s like married people setting single people up??!!) Got to get everyone in the same level of disorder as themselves.
    I am with you one the washing and homework. We have 3 and spend approx. $50 in bread alone each week. So I hear ya!

  3. Yes, if more people took some time to think before blabbing the first thing that came to mind (and that is often something that is just a mainstream media formed opinion anyway) the world would be a better place :-). Lovely post Aroha.

  4. People love enforcing their opinions on others don’t they?! I think the money factor is a big one. Part of me wants a third, but then I think about the cost of education, buying a bigger car, the list goes on …

    • Yes they do. I’ve slowly learned to let it roll off me, like water off a duck’s back. Sometimes I’d just like to let them have it though. Lots of costs involved when considering adding more kids.

  5. Great post! I also am sick of people asking me when we are going to have another child. In our case we were lucky to get one and we are happy to leave it at that! But even if we hadn’t had so much trouble, I often think that one child would have been the right decision for us anyway. I don’t know why it seems to be such a problem for everyone else 🙂

  6. I only have one plus 2 bonus children, I would love more but there are some serious advantages of having less kids. Ie Miss 4 is going to private school and we don’t have to worry about school fees for mutiple kids 🙂 Plus you can always add one extra kid to a hotel room when travelling!

  7. So far my boys don’t eat much, but I know when they are teenagers they will bankrupt us at the grocery store! Accommodation is often apita for 4 kids. Also, the private school thing is a big deal we are trying to sort out at the moment for high school.

  8. I’ve been getting the “when are you having another one?” for the last 10 years, since the day Bell was born! Sometimes I think that maybe we should have, but that’s only fleeting. Each to their own 🙂

  9. Such great points – wish I’d read this awhile back – ha ha – I would change it for all the wine in NZ – well that is a big call I know!
    But yes yes yes to the noise – one of the most ANNOYING things of more than one kid! xx

  10. We all have our reasons for everything, yet it seems when it comes to children and our choices around them, our opinion is open slather to scrutiny. I don’t see anyone condemning me for using my dryer more than I do hanging the clothes out on the line, or whether my recycling skills are up to scratch? I like the idea of not having to buy multiple gadgets!

  11. I only have one child and that is completely because it’s been my choice to. Something that a lot of people find hard to comprehend. Why should I have another child when I can barely cope with the one I have? A lot of people have this misconception that having one child is selfish but I think it’s selfish to bring children into the world if you can’t cope with the one you have.

    • Can’t tell you the # of times I’ve been called “selfish” – ok, I can, to my face it’s 2 times. Which is 2 too many. Both times by complete strangers. Refreshing to hear of another one who’s CHOICE is to have 1. Thanks for commenting.

  12. People ask me if I plan to have anymore. Not only is it highly rude but seriously. Did they just not see how crazy the twinlets are and how out of breath I get in having to chase them?
    People will always be people, including the most insensitive. Just gotta figure out a way to rise above it.

  13. There’s tons of positives for having just one. Just as there’s tons of positives for having more than one. I’m grappling with that ‘choice’ at the moment. I love the fact that our relationship is back on track, that we can each ‘take turns’ of playing with her while the other pursues his/her Saturday sport. I love the way she holds his hand in one and my hand in the other and says mummy, daddy, then her name and looks up at us with pride, as if to say she has us all to her self. Why yes she does. I’m not too concerned about school fees or travelling to see the other side of her family (all London based) as I know we’ll only be affording 3 long haul flight tickets every few years. So there’s tons of positives, it’s just a personal choice. I’ve just finished reading the ‘One and Only’ book by Lauren Sandler. It’s mesmerising, refers to loads of research, and debunks all the stigma placed on only children.

  14. We were asked the same question for 12 yrs (with our ‘only’ adopted son) till our twins came along, even worse when our daughter was stillborn explaining it. I think each of us does choose what is right for them – given they get the choice and infertility not withstanding. My single friend is devastated she will never bear her child (or children)..

    • I often hear people say they knew their family was “complete” after having # whatever. I’ve never known that feeling. It wasn’t a choice I was given. My heart aches for your friend. Because for as much heartache as we’ve been through, we’ve also felt the pure joy and blessedness (?) of being parents, even if it is “only” to one. x

  15. If I had to do all the waging and cooking myself that would be reason enough for me to send Zee back! Unfortunately though number 6 for us is still a problem, Punky has taken over the iPad an I am forever having to fight to get a turn on what was MY birthday present! We are actually about to get a second one to solve the problem (thankfully we have shitloads if flybuys points so its half price otherwise the fighting would have to continue!).

    Excellent list Aroha!

    • Yeah I didn’t really take into consideration the only child stealing YOUR gadgets! LOL! It happens here, too though! So much so we nabbed my sisters old iphone for Nick to have so he’d stop stealing ours!

  16. We were so thrilled with our family with just one child, we thought long and hard about having a second – didn’t want to upset the balance when life was so good! As it turns out there is 2 1/2 years between them so we didn’t wait / think too long 😉

    My sis has only one, in fact she was told she would never have any, so is grateful for her little miracle (who is now 17!). But she always found it REALLY hard at playgroups etc, people always asking her / pushing her to have another, just brought back the pain of infertility afresh. Geez people just don’t think hey?!

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