Things I Know: About Parenting An (MY) Almost-5 Year Old

It’s been a while, but I realised last night, I know some shit about parenting an  my almost-five year old, so I thought I’d share.

I decided to write this post after dinner last night was like negotiating with a terrorist. Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: Finish your dinner and you can play Wii (current reward of the week that works)
Nick: How much do I have to finish?
Me: All of it.
Nick: What about just half of it?
Me: No, all of it!
Nick: What about this much? (about 3/4 of it)
Me: FINE! JUST EAT IT!

Nick 1. Mum 0.

{source}

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Perhaps it is just my almost-five year old, but when it is hot out, he wants to wear his school jumper. When it’s freezing (hey, 15 degrees is freezing on the Gold Coast!) he wants to go without it. And I wonder where he got this relentless cough from!?

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He’s only been at school for 4 months, but he already knows everything and he especially knows more than me! As evidenced by this conversation:

Nick: Mum, do you know 1 plus 1 is 3?
Me: No, it’s 2
Nick: No it’s not, it’s 3
Me: No, 1 plus 1 is 2.
Nick: Nooooooo, it’s nooooooot.
Me: Ok, it’s 3.

Nick 2. Mum 0.

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He’s suddenly gone from accepting what I say as gospel to questioning my every declaration. For example, yesterday morning, laying in bed, he says to me, “Mum, how come YOU’RE the boss of the house?” Unfortunately “Because I’m the mummy” was all I could come up with on the spot like that. He looked dubious. I suspect this one will be re-hashed again soon.

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He doesn’t seem to understand birthday parties need to be paid for. When I don’t let him do something he wants to do, I get, “Muuuummy, if you don’t let me play Wii, you can’t come to my birsday party.” And it’s hard not to laugh because it’s so cute the way he says “birsday” instead of “birthday”, but I wonder what we’re teaching him if he thinks bribery is the way to get what you want (see point 1!). I got so sick of hearing this, that the last time he said it I responded with, “Yeah well if you don’t do what I say, you won’t HAVE a birthday party!” I’ve also tried the, “Fine, I don’t want to come to your party anyway” and the response I got to that was, “I won’t be your frrriiiend.” I may or may not have actually said, “I’m not your friend, I’m your mum, and that’s different.”  I feel like this one might have been a draw. Or maybe I won, because he still didn’t play wii.

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Speaking of birthday parties, they are the be all and end all of an almost-five-year-old’s social life and social status. Who is on their birthday list, who is going to their birthday, who did you see at X’s birthday party all seem to be very important in the playground social standings. We have parties almost weekly, which is nice for him. It’s nice to be invited. But it can mean we miss out on much of a weekend because Nick has soccer and birthday parties to go to. It’s the 5 year equivalent of a wedding, really. And yes, his social calendar is more full than ours. Unfortunately, he has his 5th birthday just around the corner, which means the party politics that Annaleis from Teapots and Tractors blogged so wonderfully about Tuesday, are now on MY shoulders. I’ve got about a week to figure it out!

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No matter what he thinks he knows, no matter who he thinks should be the boss of the house, he’s still not too old to have a cuddle and kiss fest with his mama. Especially when he’s not feeling great. He’s a real mama’s boy. Mummy makes everything better. And really, isn’t that the best part of being a parent? Being able to make the tears stop, the smiles come, the laughter echo again. I hope as he grows up I will always be able to make him laugh and smile. I know I can never stay cross at him for long, because he is just a reflection of me and my personality. Thinks he knows when he’s right (i.e. all the time), likes to be invited to parties, likes to think he’s the boss of the house, and still needs mummy when he’s sick. He is my boy alright, and I know I love him more than anything in the whole world.

linking up with Miss Cinders at Saturday Morning Ogre Mum for Things I Know!

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