I confess, about this time, every month, I start to wonder. I wonder what it would be like if that dreaded monthly visitor women get didn’t show up. I wonder what it would be like to POAS and actually have two lines appear, instead of just one. I wonder what it would be like to tell my husband the news – and how I would tell him. I wonder what it would be like telling family and friends who know how long we’ve been trying. I wonder what kind of post I would write here to let my readers know the happy news. I wonder what it would be like to tell Nick he’s finally going to be a big brother.
And every month, all these thoughts make it that much harder when the bitch shows up.
If I have to hear one more piece of advice, one more sympathetic condolence, one more comment about how unfair it is, I might just scream, or spontaneously self-combust. If I have to hear one more, “I can’t imagine how it must feel” I won’t be held responsible for what I reply with. If I hear one more, “Oh, that will be a big gap if it happens now” I won’t be held responsible for giving that person a gap – in their front teeth.
Now, with our only child starting school in 2 weeks, maybe they’re right. Maybe it is too late. Maybe that ship has sailed, and going back to square one is not a good idea. But maybe it’s not, maybe it’s the perfect time to have another one. Nick has had our undivided (mostly) attention for 4.5 years. He has been given probably more opportunities than some other 4.5 year olds who have siblings to contend with. If another came along now, with Nick at school, that child would get a lot of my time, also.
It seems either way we can’t win. If you have them too close together you feel guilty they don’t get enough of your time. If you have them too far apart people make you feel guilty that they won’t be “close” growing up. Either way, the important thing is that they’re loved and they know it. It doesn’t matter if they have no siblings or 10. I’m officially sick of being asked about it, talking about it, thinking about it, dreaming about it, wondering about it. I must confess, I’m ready to just move on with our life, and the new chapter we’re embarking on as parents of a school child!
Linking up with Kirsty at My Home Truths for I Must Confess