Last weekend, our weekend at Fingal, which was awesome, may have ended up with a bit of an injury. One of my friends and I went for a run on the beach, barefoot, in the hard sand. It felt great, at the time. We blitzed it, then jumped right in the ocean after! It felt amazing! The next day however, my feet were swollen and sore. My right foot has calmed down, my left is still really sore. It seems to be the bone on the top of the foot and it feels very similar to when I had a stress fracture in my right ankle almost 2 years ago. I think tennis and running might be out for a while. I strapped it up for PT Wednesday night and it didn’t give me too much grief, so hopefully I’ll still be able to train. I’m not sure yet how it will feel swimming and if the kicking motion will inflame it or not.
After losing 10kgs, something like this freaks me out. If I can’t run/swim/train I’m terrified of putting every one of those kgs straight back on. I know I need to be more sensible about my food, especially when I’m injured and not moving regularly. But the food part of this whole thing is something I’ve struggled with from day 1. It’s the reason it took so long to start losing weight.
So now I’m faced with the challenge of trying to still work out without doing more damage to my foot, and/or trying to maintain weight by mostly eating healthy and not relying on my swimming/PT/running. The last time I injured my ankle it took weeks to fully recover. And while I understand the importance of letting the body heal, the thought of taking weeks off makes me feel sick. See, I’ve sort of become addicted to this post-exercise high. I’ve become addicted to the confidence I have in my body, in myself, after doing a 60 minute PT session and dripping sweat on the ground.
I know now that I can.not.stop. I can never stop exercising, because I will end up right back where I began. 10+ kgs heavier. Miserable. Feeling sorry for myself. And I’ve worked so hard, for so long, to get to this point, I don’t even want to think about going back now.