When we’re young, we panic that if we have sex we’ll get pregnant.
Pregnant Teenager: “But I only did it once!”
Parent: “It only takes one time!”
We go all out to ensure we don’t fall pregnant, that we don’t “ruin our lives”. Even in our 20s, when we are partying it up, finding our way in the world, a pregnancy could be the beginning of the end.
Then we start to think about it a bit more. We meet a nice boy (or girl) and start thinking about how many we’d like to have. Me? I wanted five. Yes, F.I.V.E! My husband is one of five, which is as close to having five as I am going to get!
We get married, and the first question is, “When are you going to have a baby?” I’m not kidding, when I was pregnant, I was asked if we would have more, and if so, when? Then when you’re pregnant, people say, “What are you hoping for, a boy or a girl?” Then you have your first, and everyone wants to know if/when you’ll have your second and if you’re hoping for the opposite sex of the first one. You’d think we’d moved out of the 50s, where the ideal family was husband, wife, son, daughter (preferably about 2 years later). We haven’t.
I’m not sure what makes me more upset, people who ask what sex baby you want, or people who have an answer for that. I follow too many blogs, too many twitterers, and have too many friends who have daily health struggles with their children to give a shit what sex the baby is! I know, MOST people have the sense to say, “Oh I just want it to be healthy” and I know they do mean that…to an extent. But deep down they probably are hoping for one over the other. One thing I know, those people have zero history of fertility problems.
The irony is that we spend so much of our younger (and, for women, probably more fertile) years, trying not to get pregnant, only to find out when we think we are ready, that it is so much harder than just having sex once. Clearly this is something they tell teenagers to scare them off sex. Having babies young would not be the worst thing in the world. That’s probably not fantastic advice, but the older you get the quicker time seems to run out.
I am so thankful for my healthy little boy. And you could tell me I was pregnant with twin boys right now and as long as they were healthy, I’d be over the moon. It shouldn’t matter how many children you have, it shouldn’t matter if they’re boys or girls, what should matter is that they are loved, they are healthy, and they are raised to be happy, respectful people. Now I am working on truly believing it doesn’t matter how many we have.