Fathers Day Edition: IBOT

When you lose someone you love, there are a few days throughout the course of the year that become a bit more difficult to deal with. Their birthday, Christmas, the anniversary of their passing, or a day that glorifies that relationship you’ve lost. Like Father’s Day.

I’m grateful for my husband and son, today of all days, because it gives us a chance for Father’s Day to still be about celebration, about the relationship of a father and a son, about their relationship. Without them, it would just be a giant reminder of the man we lost almost 2 years ago.

This photo was taken on Father’s Day, 2010. Less than a month later, he was no longer with us. I look back on this photo and wonder if he felt sick then. If he knew something was “off” or if he was just going about his business every day, not at all suspecting what was around the corner.

Dad’s death really made me start to question life. Why are we here? What is the point? The purpose? It’s probably responsible for the irrational fear of death I have – not that fearing death is irrational, but fearing a catastrophe if you walk out the door/get on a plane/drive a country road/ride a ride at a theme park…that probably is a bit irrational.

My dad wasn’t always a great dad, he probably didn’t really live up to anyone’s, including his own, expectations of being a father. But he did the best he could, or knew how, which sometimes is really all you can ask. He loved his grandson. He told me he may not have been a great dad, but he was going to be a great grandad. I know he loved us too, but I think too often and for too long he wasn’t quite sure how to. If my heart was broken over my loss, it was shattered into a million pieces for Nick’s loss.

But while I’m sad for not having my dad here for father’s day, I’m so happy to watch my husband and son, their special father/son bond, their relationship, which as any has it’s rough patches, but for the most part is so special. I took some time to ask Nick a few questions about dad for father’s day, and here’s what he said:

And sure enough, this father’s day, Nick and his dad have gone to Movie World and have had their picture taken with Batman!

Love these two boys so very much.

Linking up with Jess at Diary of a Stay at Home Mum for #IBOT

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18 thoughts on “Fathers Day Edition: IBOT

    • Yes, the anniversaries are the hardest I think because no matter how much time has passed you can still remember those awful moments of finding out/seeing them/funerals etc. I can feel it like it was yesterday. Thanks for your comment x

  1. Oh hun.
    I can only imagine how much your heart breaks on days like this – But I am so glad it can be lifted right on back up with the special bond your hubby and Nick have.
    I’d like to meet batman myself one day – aka Chris Bale aka nom nom nom !!!
    xxx

    • Batman is HOT…but on a serious note, yes, days like this are hard, but they are what they are. Others shouldn’t NOT celebrate just because I am sad! And hubby and Nick really do make up for it and make my heart still smile. And I still smile for having had my dad. Thanks for your comment x

  2. Massive hugs and strength hon. You should be so proud of your boys. Sometimes I feel like I let my eldest son down as his father and grandfather have never been around for him. xxXOoo

    • Thanks CJ. Please do not feel like you have let your eldest son down. I am sure he doesn’t feel that way and can see what an amazing mum you are and have been! If I can tell just from your blog, then I am certain he can! xo

  3. It is reading posts like this that remind me to value those who are still here with me – my folks included. I love them to bits and today I am going to stop off on my way home and visit for a while instead of dashing home to exercise (and then I will dash home and exercise !!!)
    Have the best day – sending lots of love, hugs and positive energy !
    Me

    • YES! don’t take him (or your mum!) for granted. I did, and now he’s not here. It can happen so suddenly, too. Enjoy and live life! xo

  4. A good friend of mine is about to lose her father in law and like you, she’s feel the most pain for the loss that her kids will go through, losing their grandad. She summed it up beautifully by saying my children can’t breath without their poppy

    • My son was 2.5 years old, he didn’t understand at all. how could he? It is just earth-shattering. He’ll never have that grandfather figure and it just kills me. I’m so sorry for your friend and her kids. xo

  5. There have been a few posts I’ve read like this. You forget how some days are just so hard for some people.
    I’m so sorry for your loss, but glad that you could see the positive side of your little families relationship. xx

    • Thanks Jess. I am sure I’m not the only one who feels sorry and pain on days like Father’s day, it’s not a very nice club to be a part of, but we all get there at some point! That’s life, isn’t it? And like anything else, we have a choice – I chose to reflect on my dad and remember him, be sad, and then celebrate with my husband and son. Thanks for your comment. xo

    • I’m sorry for your loss Rachel 😦 And so young! So unfair! I’m glad you have wonderful memories of him though and I too hope your husband is half as great – I am sure he is! xo

  6. This post made me cry. proper big tears. I really feel it. I miss my dad too (he has been dead 11 years now). Strangely enough as Fathers Day is at a diff time of year in the UK the Aussie fathers day didn’t bring up those feelings as much as his birthday did. Grief is a long old road, it does get better (well, you get used to it anyway which is sort of better) xx

    • Oh Catherine! I am sorry I made you cry! My husband lost his dad 11 years ago, too, and it does get easier in the day-to-day stuff, but it can still hurt just as bad as if it was yesterday. Birthdays and anniversaries of their passings are the worst. Sending you love xo

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