It’s week 9 of Deb’s 52 Weeks to Simplify Your Life. I am absolutely loving this challenge. It makes you think, it makes you get real with yourself, it makes you explore every aspect of your life that you otherwise wouldn’t think about. We have talked about goals, values, happiness, priorities…and it has been amazing. I am so excited to see the final product after week 52 and am already planning to print out these posts and bind them.
Week #9 Challenge : Go Easier On Yourself
For as long as I can remember, I have never thought I was enough. I wasn’t smart enough. I wasn’t pretty enough. I wasn’t thin enough. I wasn’t good enough. I have thought of myself as fat, stupid, lazy, ugly, whiny, incompetent.
After I had my son, these feelings got worse. Now I was really fat (couldn’t shift that baby weight at all), lazy (would rather stay home than go for a walk pushing a stroller), whiny (what sleep-deprived new mum isn’t?), and not only was I all those things, but I wasn’t contributing to the household budget. Three and a half years later, I am working, but it’s still not enough, as now I’m not home enough for my son, I don’t spend enough time with just my husband, I don’t make enough money for us to get ahead.
I’ve always been a glass-half-empty person. I can admit that. I have always seen the negative. I’ve always wanted more but didn’t want to work for it and/or didn’t think I deserved it.
I wasted so much time, so much energy and emotion, wanting what I didn’t have. I wanted a house, but our unit is more than enough. I wanted more money, but we make more than enough to pay our bills and even afford a few small luxuries along the way. I am a people pleaser and wanted people to like me, but I am likeable just as I am, without having to bend over backwards to please someone else. I wanted to be thin, but I am healthy, reasonably fit, and get to enjoy a range of foods without depriving myself. I want another baby, but I have a wonderful son, and a loving husband and we are a great little family.
The gratitude journal I started in January has shown me that I have more than most people. I have everything I need. My son and my husband adore me, for me. I am everything I need to be to them. I am everything I need to be to everyone, but myself.
But it’s never too late to change that. If I spent as much time loving myself as I have spent criticising myself, I would be much more fulfilled. I would be much more confident. I would realise I am not only enough, I am more than enough.
I went in search of affirmations/mantras/self-love sayings this afternoon and have put something together that I think I need reminding of, every day.
And when this doesn’t quite do it, maybe this will.
It’s not too late to join in with Deb and those of us participating in her 52 Weeks to Simplify Your Life challenge. Join in where you want, catch up if you want, link up if you want, or don’t. At least read the challenges and give yourself some food for thought.