Practically Perfect In Every Way. Week 9. {52 Weeks To Simplify Your Life}

It’s week 9 of Deb’s 52 Weeks to Simplify Your Life. I am absolutely loving this challenge. It makes you think, it makes you get real with yourself, it makes you explore every aspect of your life that you otherwise wouldn’t think about. We have talked about goals, values, happiness, priorities…and it has been amazing. I am so excited to see the final product after week 52 and am already planning to print out these posts and bind them.

Week #9 Challenge : Go Easier On Yourself

For as long as I can remember, I have never thought I was enough. I wasn’t smart enough. I wasn’t pretty enough. I wasn’t thin enough. I wasn’t good enough. I have thought of myself as fat, stupid, lazy, ugly, whiny, incompetent.

After I had my son, these feelings got worse. Now I was really fat (couldn’t shift that baby weight at all), lazy (would rather stay home than go for a walk pushing a stroller), whiny (what sleep-deprived new mum isn’t?), and not only was I all those things, but I wasn’t contributing to the household budget. Three and a half years later, I am working, but it’s still not enough, as now I’m not home enough for my son, I don’t spend enough time with just my husband, I don’t make enough money for us to get ahead.

I’ve always been a glass-half-empty person. I can admit that. I have always seen the negative. I’ve always wanted more but didn’t want to work for it and/or didn’t think I deserved it.

I wasted so much time, so much energy and emotion, wanting what I didn’t have. I wanted a house, but our unit is more than enough. I wanted more money, but we make more than enough to pay our bills and even afford a few small luxuries along the way. I am a people pleaser and wanted people to like me, but I am likeable just as I am, without having to bend over backwards to please someone else. I wanted to be thin, but I am healthy, reasonably fit, and get to enjoy a range of foods without depriving myself. I want another baby, but I have a wonderful son, and a loving husband and we are a great little family.

The gratitude journal I started in January has shown me that I have more than most people. I have everything I need. My son and my husband adore me, for me. I am everything I need to be to them. I am everything I need to be to everyone, but myself.

But it’s never too late to change that. If I spent as much time loving myself as I have spent criticising myself, I would be much more fulfilled. I would be much more confident. I would realise I am not only enough, I am more than enough.

I went in search of affirmations/mantras/self-love sayings this afternoon and have put something together that I think I need reminding of, every day.

And when this doesn’t quite do it, maybe this will.

It’s not too late to join in with Deb and those of us participating in her 52 Weeks to Simplify Your Life challenge. Join in where you want, catch up if you want, link up if you want, or don’t. At least read the challenges and give yourself some food for thought.

Posted in SYL

26 thoughts on “Practically Perfect In Every Way. Week 9. {52 Weeks To Simplify Your Life}

  1. At least you’ve identified this is something you need to work on and thats a really really good start. Good luck with that journey. You’re definitely not alone. I’m still working toward my self happiness. And I’m still trying to focus on the now and enjoy the happiness around me rather than constantly search for that something else. We will get there, I just know it.

    • I have confidence we will get there, too. I think this challenge will be a huge guide and if we are honest with ourselves we’ll certainly get there. I’m surprised how many similar posts I’m reading – about women/mums/wives never feeling good enough.

  2. Wow, much of your post really hit home for me. I never think I am enough either, and for many of the same reasons as you. Very brave to get it out there and acknowledge it.

    • Thanks Blythe, it is nice to read and hear others feeling the same. Makes it seem somewhat normal, and definitely overcomeable. Acknowledging it is the first step!

  3. Thank you for your honesty!! I think deep down we all feel we are not enough, but really who are we measuring against??? I think its awesome that you can acknowledge that your husband and son love you for you – shouldnt that be enough for us???? Love your quotes also, i think we all need to really feel that we are fantastic and perfect as we are and we are our own perfect!!! I am loving the challenge also, its been an eye opener, but i also love reading everyone elses journey along the way….. and finding out that most people are in the same boat!!! Thanks for sharing ๐Ÿ™‚ and goodluck with loving yourself more ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Paula I was just wondering that today! So many of us writing about not feeling like we are enough, but who has made us feel that way? What ARE we comparing ourselves to?!? And why do we berate our friends for voicing similar feelings, yet think it’s ok for US to feel like it?

  4. I agree with with Blythe and Paula that it hit home and lots of us are in the same boat…I was reading your first bit nodding my head – yep I’ve thought that of myself. I still feel the ‘rather stay home than push the pram’ (or in my case take the kids to the park) – and think of myself as being lazy. But enough is enough! It’s great you have acknowledged you have enough and your gratitude journal is helping. I hope you can start to love yourself and stop criticising (I had to do this yesterday when my cakes were a flop – I used the wrong flour -oops, normally I would beat myself up over the wasted ingredients – cause seriously – who can’t even bake cupcakes! – but I moved on and decided it wasn’t a big deal – the kids can eat something else).

    • I think the best thing my gratitude journal has helped with is just that – moving on, not dwelling on something when it upsets me. I move on MUCH quicker now! It’s so great to connect with others who know exactly what I’m talking about and have felt it too. If we won’t/can’t/don’t love ourselves, who will?!

  5. I love your post – I hope you are on the path you need to be on – you really hit it home with me with this line “If I spent as much time loving myself as I have spent criticising myself, I would be much more fulfilled”. As always it comes back to the choices we make right? I am a work in progress but so happy with the progress I have made (i was always half empty glass girl too).

    • The thing is, there are plenty of other people in the world who will be quick to rip you to shreds, quick to put you down to make themselves feel better. We should be our own best advocate, not our own worst critic. There’s plenty of those around without us adding to it! Confidence is beautiful!

  6. We are often our own worst critics. I’ve generally been a glass half-empty girl as well. That little internal voice that whispers at us can destroy so much of our potential. It also prevents us from living life to the full. Great post – and you are so right when you say that you are “more than enough”!

    • yep! you’re right, but like I mentioned above, we should be our own best advocates, not our own worst critics. There’s enough other people who will put us down to make themselves feel better. It’s time that internal voice started speaking words of kindness, love, support, encouragement, belief. Because there’s enough other voices to speak the rest!

  7. Thankyou for sharing your post with all of today. It’s hard to put yourself out there in this way and I think that by just doing that you are making positive moves in your journey. Please know that you made me take a minute to reflect on my life and my own self worth feelings, they need a little work too!

    • Thanks Annaleis, I think we are probably all a work in progress when it comes to our own self worth feelings. Gratitude, affirmations, self-love, confidence. It really is the ONLY way to live a happy life I think.

  8. I love both those affirmations ! I can be a glass half empty person too. Maybe I need to steal your idea and start my own grateful journal to help me keep things in perspective.

    • I stole it from someone else, so go ahead! I had never even heard of it until late last year, and am so glad I’ve done it. It TRULY makes you see the positives, you don’t even have to search for them, they are right in front of you! Here is a post I wrote, just 1 week into my gratitude journal.

  9. what a great post!! why is it we women suffer from bad cases of the ‘not enoughs’ we really are horribly critical of our every move aren’t we!! Your affirmations are fab – definitely good to add to the mirror!

    • yes I should definitely add them to the mirror! I’d like to print and frame the “Just as I am” one. The other one can go on the mirror lol! I think we get the “not enoughs” from TV, movies and magazines, where everyone is “perfect” (use the term loosely)

    • Thanks Laney. I guess this is what the whole becoming a grown up, and getting “wiser” as you get older is all about?? Haha!

  10. You do not have to share, but I am curious how old you are. I wonder if it is a developmental understanding, a process and realisation we make in our 30s? I am actively trying to change my thoughts and self-beliefs and to accept myself as I am. Not there yet, but I feel glimmers shining through and acceptance and self-love growing. It is a long journey and one I am constantly working on. Even gorgeous celebrities who seem to have it all find faults in themselves. Perhaps we get a little wiser and a little more attuned to ourselves each decade? I hope so!

    • I am 33, and I think you are on to something. I think also, the older we get, the more likely we are to have lost someone close to us, and that is always a huge, HUGE wakeup call that life is SHORT and it’s too short to be wasted being miserable or a Debbie Downer. Gosh I feel like I’ve come so far just in the last few months, I can’t imagine what another few years will do to me! I will be SO wise ๐Ÿ˜‰ We are all a work in progress until the day we die, I think. It’s nice when you notice the huge steps in the progress tho.

  11. I love that ‘Just As I Am’ quote. I’m turning 35 in two weeks. I wasted ten whole years wanting to be more than I was. Finally, finally, I realise that I am enough, and I don’t want for anything more than that. Thanks for sharing such an inspiring post. x

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