I sometimes wonder if my gratitude blog is a way of fooling myself. If I tell myself I’m grateful for everything then the thoughts of ungratefulness won’t creep in. But they do. I have decided to just let them. It’s ok to NOT be grateful once in a while.
I’ve had these thoughts running through my head a lot lately, “If only I knew….”
If only I knew Nick would be my only child. It’s not that I’ve given up hope of another, but it does seem less and less likely, every dreaded month. It’s not that I am ungrateful for Nick, but I am ungrateful for that which I don’t have. Another bub.
If I AM lucky to have another bub, I know…
I will be more present (mentally) at the birth. If I can feel bub is posterior, I will try with all my might to get him turned and I will try with all my might, to not need or want an epidural.
I will NOT have to have the midwife tell me to look at my son because I am more concerned with what is happening to my vajayjay and it has completely slipped my mind that I just gave birth to the most amazing baby boy.
I will get help quicker if I feel I am not coping very well instead of waiting 18 months for a PND diagnosis.
I will complain less about the sleepless nights (ok, I might not, but I will try my hardest!)
I will enjoy every.single.minute of having a baby, because I know the moments are fleeting, and go far too quickly.
I will look after myself better, during and after the pregnancy. I owe it to the unborn bub, myself, and my family.
I will take SO MANY PICTURES! I wish iPhones had been around when I had Nick.
I will try harder to get bub to fall asleep unassisted, and to sleep through the night long before 18 months (please, God!)
I will be so, so thankful for the blessing of having another gorgeous child to nurture, raise, love, and will never forget that being a parent is not a right, it’s a privilege.
Linking up for Things I Know with The Good, The Bad and The Unnecessary.