My husband and I have always tried to be the kind of people who, if they didn’t like something, they changed it. We have known the kind of people who whinge but don’t do anything about it, who talk about doing something constantly, but never do it. And we have strived (striven?) to not be Those People.
When my husband was unhappy at his job, he found a new one. He’s done that twice. When we thought we would be unhappy in Atlanta with children, since we had no family and no friends with children nearby, we moved to the other side of the world. Maybe that was a little drastic, but it was what we wanted to do, what we talked about doing, so we did it.
My husband decided he couldn’t do what he does forever, so he’s taken steps to switching careers. I hope beyond hope that SOON he will hear word as to whether or not he’s been accepted.
I’m getting to a point here. I swear.
The thing is, since having Nick, I feel like I’ve become lost. I don’t know what I want to do. Well, I do. My top 2 choices are Rock Star and Photographer. The problem with these is that I am pretty tone deaf. I love singing in my car and in the shower, and hey, it sounds in tune to me, but I am sure it is so.far.off. And I’d get stage fright and forget the words. And reality check, I’m way too old to be a rock star now!
But I’m not too old to be a photographer. I’m just too poor. To get the equipment I would want (need!), go to the workshops I’d want to go to, I’d need at least $10,000 to get started. We just don’t have that kind of money and frankly, I’m not sure we ever will. Plus photography is such a hard gig to crack in to. It all sounds like excuses, probably, but I’ve thought about it a lot, and just can’t figure out how to Make It Happen. It is the one thing I love to do. Well, actually I’m a nervous wreck while doing it, but I love looking at the pics on my computer, editing them and seeing the smiles, the love, the memories that I’ve captured for people forever. I love seeing how far I’ve come from the first photos I started taking, to the ones I take now*, and I can only imagine how much better ones I could take with some practice, some better equipment and a little bit of guidance from others who have been down this same path.
I think I have the eye for it. I think I have the patience for it. I think I could be great at it. I know I have the love for it. I just need a plan, I need help, I need to really figure out HOW to MAKE IT HAPPEN. My goal for 2012 will be to figure it out. My biggest fear is making it happen and ending up hating it because it’s no longer a hobby but a J-O-B and I’ll quit it before I even make back all the money I’ve just spent on getting started.
Hopefully my husband’s goals will all be realised SOON and then I can turn my focus to mine. It seems like our lives have been put on hold, waiting for his career change to happen. Talk about having to jump through hoops.
So that I can link up to with two blogs, I’m now going to list the top 10 things I would buy/do first if I had the money to put my photography dream in motion.
1. Canon EOS 5D Mark ii – $2000
2. EF 8-15 f/4L Fisheye Lens – $1600
3. EF 50mm f/1.2 Lens – $1600
4. EF 28-300mm f/3.5-5.6L IS USM lens – $2700
5. EF 24-70mm f/2.8 L USM Lens – $1400
6. Lens hoods for some or all above mentioned lenses
7. Kick arse bag to hold my precious (and expensive) camera and lenses
8. Various lighting aides, like reflectors, off-camera flashes, etc.
9. Sheye Rosemeyers Evolve workshop
10. Mihaja Photography’s any-workshop-available
Ok so maybe I need more like about $15,000. Time to put the thinking cap on and in the meantime get the lottery tickets out.