Why We Shouldn’t Judge Other Parents : 10 Things Tuesday

It’s usually hard for me to come up with 10 things for a list for 10 Things Tuesday with Sif. After yesterday’s events, this one has come pretty easily to mind. Here goes.

10 Reasons Why We Shouldn’t Judge Other Parents

1. We never know all the facts. Especially when all we are basing our judgment on is a “news” story.

2. We are our own worst critics. We really don’t need others weighing in on something we are most likely already beating ourselves up over.

3. Probably what you’re judging the other parent on, is something you yourself are guilty of doing at least once in your own parenting experience. If you have never lost sight of your child, never had that moment of panic when you don’t know where they are, you are lucky. I’ve had it a few times, once in KMart inside a busy mall, the thought that N could have gone out into the mall and could be anywhere was petrifying. Glass houses, and all that.

4. Accidents happen, that’s why they’re called accidents. Definition: 1. An unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury.

5. One day you might just find something similar happens to you. Then you’ll realise what an arse you were. You’ll also be hurt and humiliated by the kind of crap that gets spouted about you by complete strangers who have done nothing but read a fact-flawed article on their computer.

6. Being a parent is difficult at the best of times, without having to add others (especially strangers) judgment to your actions on top of it. Parents should have each others backs, there’s plenty of childless people who think they can judge us, we need to stick together.

7. You never know what that parent is going through outside of the incident being judged. What outside factors may have played a part in the incident.

8. Regardless of what you think of a situation, the first emotion you have should be compassion. The second empathy. It should be common sense, human nature to react this way. Unfortunately it has become human nature to point fingers, find blame, look for “accountability” because really, when someone is blamed, everyone else feels better. I still haven’t figured out why.

9*.  It’s not your job to ask the questions, it’s the authority’s. No matter what rights you think you have, you never have the right to jump to conclusions, to criticise, to berate, to PICK ON someone, especially from behind a computer where you don’t have to show your face or even your real name, and spout holier-than-thou obscenities and accusations. It is NOT YOUR PLACE AND NOT YOUR RIGHT.

10. The Bible and almost every spiritual and/or religious deity/entity/leader/publication says the same thing, in their own words: Judge not, that ye not be judged. Judgement day comes for everyone. But YOU are not the judge nor jury in LIFE.

 

* I understand in particular circumstances it IS our job to ask questions, like when there is an obvious case of child abuse/neglect, etc. It is our job to protect children. This post is almost entirely related to people who have the nerve to go online and start questioning and judging parents who are going through hell because of some tragedy that has happened to them.

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2 thoughts on “Why We Shouldn’t Judge Other Parents : 10 Things Tuesday

  1. Amen sister.

    This is my bugbear at the moment too, but for far more palatable reasons than what you’re talking about here.

    I’m all stirred up by feeling judged for my parenting choices, and how I react when my little man has a meltdown in public. It hurts.

    I can’t even imagine the pain your friends must be experiencing at the moment 😦 Praying for a miracle for their little boy.

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