The Double-Edged Sword of Parenting

I don’t know if the name Daniel Morcombe will mean anything to N when he is older but it sure means a lot to me right now.8 years ago Daniel was last seen waiting for a bus. He never came home. He was only 13 at the time and his parents have been left to wonder what happened to him for the last 8 years. I’m sure they have held a small bit of hope that he was alive somewhere, perhaps being held against his will. And that one day he’d be returned to them.

A week or so ago there was an announcement that someone had been arrested for his murder. In the last few days police and SES crews have found 2 shoes and human remains. They’ve yet to determine whether or not what they have found is connected to Daniel but I’d say they will do that soon and they’ll say it is.

As a parent my 2 biggest fears are that either something will happen to take N away from us or something will happen to take me away from him too soon.

I’ve recently realized a third fear – that something will happen and I won’t be able to be there to protect him or to save him or to make everything ok. All I can think about, as this tragedy unfolds, is the terror Daniel must have went through and how devastated and helpless his mum and dad must have felt that they weren’t able to protect him. That thought would kill me almost as much as the idea that my son was never coming home.

But what is the answer? What is the appropriate response to something like this? And how do we make sure we dont end up in the same situation as the morcombes? I want to wrap him up in my arms and never let him out of my sight but some would think that’s irrational. I don’t see a problem!

Jocelyn at lifeasmummymax asked the question, what do we tell our kids? I don’t know. We tell them not to talk to strangers, to not go anywhere with a stranger and to try to travel in at least twos. But that doesn’t always work.

Being a parent is a little bit of a double-edged sword. The joy you get from being a mum, the laughter, the smiles, the LOVE…there is just nothing like it. And you can’t describe it to people who don’t have children. It’s something you just have to feel and experience. I have friends, a few married couples actually, who have no intention of having children. And while I see their lifestyle and can’t help but be jealous of the spas, dinners, holidays, etc., I also feel sad for them that they will never know this amazing feeling. But with the amazing feelings also comes the dread and fear that it could all be taken away in a second. I’ve read so many blogs from parents who have lost a child and it absolutely tears at me every time. I don’t know how they do it – how they get out of bed in the morning or how they sleep at night. I hope I never have to find out how they do it.

It’s a tragic blessing that these developments have happened in Daniel’s case. The family can get some closure and try to move forward. But it’s something you wish they’d
never had to go thru in the first place. it’s something you never want anyone to go through and it’s a shocking risation that it could happen to any of us. The Morcombes are in my thoughts  this week as they go through this. And I hope I never know how they feel.

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One thought on “The Double-Edged Sword of Parenting

  1. It is a tragic blessing. Every new thing i hear on the news, I am sure their parents want closure but at the same time im sure they are praying they are wrong and he is still out there 😦 beautifully written. I too hope none of us ever have to experience what the morcombes have or feel what they have lost. xoxox

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