A Letter To Nicklas

Dear Nicklas,

In the wee early hours this morning, you laughed in your sleep, and it was the most amazing sound I have ever heard. I wished I could see into your dreams to know what you were laughing about. It was the most innocent, playful, soul-filled giggle and my heart almost exploded.

Lately you’ve got into the habit of waking up at 2 am and coming in to bed with us, which I love, even if it means I don’t get much sleep between then and 6 am. Most mornings I don’t remember you coming in, I just wake up with a foot in my back or a hand on my face. But some mornings, at 2 am in the quiet stillness I wake up to you standing next to me, lift you into the middle of the bed, and you wrap your arms around my neck and go back to sleep. I wish these moments could last forever.

You recently turned 3, and most of the time I feel like you were just born yesterday and I want to slow time down. Sometimes I feel like you’ve been with me my whole life. Either way, I don’t know where I’d be without you.

You’re the happiest little boy I know, and I love when you wake up and tell big stories. Or when you come home from kindy telling big stories. Or when you call Nanna and tell her big stories. Most of the time we know what you’re talking about, sometimes no one has a clue. You have a smile that lights up the room, a laugh that makes everyone laugh with you, and a heart the size of Texas. I honestly couldn’t ask for you to be more kind, caring or sensitive.

Your dad and I were carrying the old couch down to the garage and the whole way you were saying, “Careful daddy, careful on the stairs, you’ll fall and hurt yourself.” You’ve obviously got this from us constantly telling you to be careful jumping on the couch or you’ll fall and hurt yourself! Which, coincidentally, you did just last week. You still have the egg and bruise on your head to prove it. You copy everything we say now, and I’ve never been more careful about the words that come out of my mouth.

Every day I love you more than yesterday. And when I think I can’t love you any more than I do, you come to me with your shopping trolley, and I say, “What did you buy?” You say, “Umm, ice-cream and chocolate.” You make me laugh and smile and I so love watching you grow up. I am so proud of you and feel so blessed to be your mama.

All my love,
Mum

xo

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