Motivation, or Lack Thereof

I have “officially” been training for 10 days now. Every second day, I have gone rulking (that is when you run/walk/run/walk/etc.) for at least 2 kms and up to as much as 3.7 kms. This morning I had my first, “I don’t want to go” moment. Seriously? Not even 2 weeks in and already I don’t want to go? Or is this about the average time for those feelings to start?

I had my excuses all lined up – I have a groin injury, I didn’t get any sleep last night (thank you to the 3 hours of thunder that rolled through, waking me up with every clap, keeping me expecting the company of a 2.5 year old any second now). But hubby, bless him, pulled the sheet off me and said, “You have to go, and you have to go now.” It was already 6:15.

I forced myself to gear up, get my iPhone and runkeeper and off I went. I was running down the road, when I got passed by another runner. That is really discouraging. However, by the time I got to the end of the road, I noticed he was up around the bend of the main road. Obviously, he’s a seasoned marathon runner! It made me feel less bad.

I knew I had to be the one to motivate myself. I knew that I could easily just do a casual walk, or even a brisk walk, and then say that counts. But it wouldn’t. And I would only be cheating myself. So I pushed myself as hard as I could, and actually surprised myself on a couple of the parts I ran, and just how far I could actually run.

I wanted to reach at least 3 kms. I feel like anything less than that at this point, the second week in training, is just not good enough. But I also knew I was running short on time, and hubby would be leaving for work soon. I got back in front of our place and was at 2.6 kms. I went past our place and down the hill. When I turned around, I became my own Biggest Loser trainer.

Here’s what anyone walking past would have heard…

“GO! You can do it! Up the hill! UP!!! Go go go!! Go to the car! You can do it!”

Granted, I wasn’t shouting at myself, it was more of a raspy, whispered push, but it worked. I ran up that hill, to the car at the top, briskly walked the hundred or so meters home and the clock ticked over to 3.0 kms.

What’s the best part about going for a run? I think it’s definitely the shower afterwards. Seriously, if you’ve never gone for a run then had a shower, I’m not sure you can understand just how good a shower can feel. Water is so refreshing and invigorating.

I am not good with this whole slow and steady wins the race thing. I don’t have the patience for learning new things, I just want to be instantly good at them. I have only been on 5 runs and already I think I should be able to go run 4 kms in 30 minutes and barely break a sweat. I know that’s not realistic at this point, and really, to run 4 kms and not break a sweat may never be realistic for me. I just have to keep my eye on the end goal and the big picture, take it one run at a time, and push myself as hard as I can. And get through these “I don’t want to go” moments that I know I’m going to have.

Posted in B2B

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