I know I’ve already written my 2010 year in review post. And this isn’t so much about what happened in 2010 but more about what I hope will happen in 2011.
This time next week I’ll have had my hysteroscopy/polypectomy and hopefully all my organs that make me a woman will be in tact, cleaned out, and ready to go. All things considered, I don’t see another Wezner baby until at least the start of 2012. That’s if everything with the surgery goes to plan.
For those who don’t know me, I find it easy to make excuses for why I can’t do things. I find it easy to think about or talk about doing something, rather than actually getting up the courage and the energy to do it. I blame money, lack of time, and my family the most. Though sometimes I find it hard to distinguish between what I really want to do and what I thought, for a fleeting moment, might be a good idea.
I let little things get to me, and niggle at me, and I let big things completely weigh me down and knock me out before I’ve even found out all the intricacies or possible solutions. I like to complain, and I do it daily. I don’t have much patience. At.All. It kills me when I get frustrated at my 2.5 year old because he never means anything with malice. All he wants is to play and have fun and laugh and be loved. I must remind myself of that more often.
I have so many things that I want to work on in myself this year. I want to be a better wife, a better mother, a better sister and a better daughter. I want to not complain so much. Seriously, have you noticed how much people who complain all the time just ANNOY the everlovingbegeezus out of you!? I don’t want to be that person. I want to always, ALWAYS, look on the bright side of life. I want to think smarter and act smarter. I want to take those 2 seconds to breathe and think before I respond to ANYTHING.
I don’t want to go through life being the cranky, old, overweight, self-indulging, bitching-moaning, “nothing-is-ever-good-enough” person. The truth is, I’ve lived my life thinking I was never enough. I was never pretty enough, nice enough, funny enough, talented enough, smart enough, GOOD enough. But you know what? I am good enough. I am MORE than good enough. And its time I treated myself like I was, and treated my family and friends like they deserve to be treated. And it starts with getting off the computer, off the phone, away from the TV. I’m sick of today’s technology. I’m not saying its not needed, or doesn’t have a place, but it doesn’t have to be needed constantly, and its place isn’t at the top of your priorities.
Today is a new year. A new start. I never bought much into the idea that a new digit at the end of the date could hold much influence. If you couldn’t change yesterday, why would you today? But there comes a time in your life when you just have to do it. You have to change. You have to look after yourself. We are not here forever, and we should make more effort to ensure we’re here for as long as possible.
Alright, it starts now. I can’t say enough about this woman’s inspiration. Seriously, just go read what she did in 2010. I need a vacation and a nap just reading it! The fact that she is my age just…well it inspires me, and is a huge wake up call. Just because I’ve had a child doesn’t mean I can’t still be an amazing woman and have an amazing life.