Today is not goodbye. It is fare well. See ya later. See you again, one day. Hopefully not too soon, but in the perspective of forever, it will be soon.
Death happens every day. We know it is coming, but we don’t know when. So why do we take life for granted? Why do we assume the people we love will be there tomorrow, next week, next month, to spend time with? We should be spending all the time we can with them NOW. There may not be a tomorrow.
It is cliche, its true. But I’ve found most cliches come from truth. But we don’t listen. We don’t notice others loss, pain, suffering, heartache, until it is our own. We don’t take their words as truth, until we know the words to be true ourselves.
Until now, the two worst days of my life were putting my cat down and giving my dog away. What’d I’d give to have those still be the two worst days of my life.
September 24 and October 1 will always be awful dates for me.
I’ve been having moments of calmness, of peace. Moments of acceptance. But then I see a picture, and I see his rosy red cheeks and lively eyes, and I still can’t believe that he’s gone. Surely he is at home, watching TV, bundy & coke in hand. Or getting ready to go play golf. But then I know he’s not. And he never will be again.
Funerals are awful, cruel things. Its been a whole week already, and today has been weighing on our minds the entire time. To say I just want it over seems dismissive, like its not important. But I just want it over.
Nick’s kindy said he could go in for a few hours today so we don’t have to worry about him at the funeral, not knowing why everyone is so upset, or wanting to run around and play outside. So he’ll go there and we’ll pick him up for the wake.
Its time to say fare well.