A Note to Nicklas

Dear Nicklas,

Today, you started kindy (aka daycare in the US or childcare in Australia), and I am sitting here at home and cannot stop thinking about you. I am wondering what you are doing, what you have eaten, who you have played with, whether or not you will go to sleep for Jaz and Claire…

This is supposed to be a win-win situation – socialisation for you, and a mini-break for me. But how can I relax when all I’m doing is worrying about you? I have even tidied and vaccuumed the whole house, just trying to take my  mind off whether or not you are ok.

This morning when I was with you at kindy, you were happy, but I saw your face when I left, through the window in the door. About 45 minutes later I got a phone call from Jaz saying you had been really upset and had taken about 15 minutes to settle. She assured me you were happy again, had eaten morning tea and you were playing with some toys, but still I worry.

You are in the babies room, but really belong in the toddler room. I am hoping that as soon as a spot comes available they’ll move you up. It broke my heart to see you sitting in the babies outdoor area, watching the kids your size and bigger playing on the playground and in the sandpit. There was a little girl in there who took a liking to you, and I watched as the two of you tried to figure out how to open the gate so you could go play with her. I’m convinced if you had started in that room, you’d have been fine when I left. I’d have already lost you to another woman! Perhaps it is a good thing you are in the babies room!

When Jaz called she said she’d call me if you got really upset again. They don’t want bubs getting too upset and associating negative feelings with the centre, or you won’t want to go back. So here I sit, writing you a letter, just waiting for my phone to ring with a message to come pick you up.

It’s only been 2 1/2 hours since I left you and I’ve missed you ever minute of it. Its never this bad when you’re with nanna or granddad. Your mum is just a giant sook. A giant sook who loves you very much, and hopes you’re having a great time and can’t wait to see you.

All my love,
Mum

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