When I was a teenager, and even into my early 20s, I always thought I would be a career woman. The thought of having a family rarely entered my mind until about my mid 20s. The idea of a boyfriend or “partner” to share life with was appealing, but the idea of being a soccer mum was pretty much the furthest thing from my mind.
Around my mid-20s, something changed. I don’t know if it was because of friends who had kids, or if it was because of my now neices or maybe it was because I realised that working was a pretty crummy way to spend life. At some point I decided I not only wanted to have kids, but I wanted to stay home with them, if that was at all possible.
Now I’m about to be 31 years old, and I feel like my life is on hold and I’m worried about whether or not I’ll ever have a job or a career again. Its been almost 2 years since I last worked, and with the global economy being in the shape it is, there obviously aren’t many jobs out there.
I received my enrollment package for grad school in the mail this week, and I need to take a closer look at it all this weekend. The thought of going back to school and in a few years looking to start a new career, at my age, is terrorfying. By the time I’m ready to start a new job, a new career, I’ll be competing against 20-something year olds who will have less wrinkles, more energy, no sick kids or soccer games to schedule around…what are my chances? Maybe I’m better off just looking for a dead-end job now that will at least provide some income?
At the moment I feel like my life is going nowhere. I wish I had worked longer, saved harder, been smarter about a lot of things in the last 5 years. Is that how all parents feel? Why is it so hard to find a good balance between work and “life”? Why do those of us who stay home feel worthless, like we’re not contributing? And those of us who have to go back to work feel guilty that we don’t spend more time at home? What is the answer?
I bet those people who won $50M in the lottery this week have an answer.