If I am going to be honest, the first month or so of being a mum…well, I had my doubts about it. I didn’t feel that automatic bond when they put him on my chest. I was still in shock that I’d just been cut and had a tear, and when he finally came out it all happened so quickly I don’t think I really knew what was going on. Then it seemed to take forEVER for them to stitch me up, and I was paying more attention to what was going on down there than to the fact I was a new mum.
But now…NOW is a different story. Those first few weeks I had no problem leaving him with mum while I ran to the store, or while we were at Kate & Adrian’s wedding. He ate, he slept, he didn’t do much else. Now he looks at me, smiles at me and smiles back at me when I smile at him. He laughs and “talks”. When mum had him last Saturday for most of the day, I missed him terribly. Every time he smiles at me I think my heart might burst out of my chest. When he cries, my heart breaks.
I finally understand why women go back for more. Its not because we get “mumnesia” and forget our birthing experiences. Its because the older our babies get and the more interractive they get, the more pleasurable it is being a mum. We realise it really IS all worth it, even though when everyone told us that at the start we didn’t really believe them. I’m not sure I really believe all those who say “It’s easier the second time” either, but everything they’ve told me has come true so far!