If I am to believe my stats for this page, a lot of people read this blog. Unfortunately, I don’t know who they all are, plus being a public website, anyone could stumble across it. So I do a lot of censoring, and try not to talk about sensitive issues, like family problems, or personal problems. I think typing out my birthing story might have been the most personal I’ve ever gotten.
When I first moved to the US, I was shocked by how many of my classmates families had “issues”. Sure, I had divorced parents, but everyone got along on either side. I didn’t understand how family COULDN’T get along. Now I do. And I think that family relationships are harder to repair than friendships or intimate relationships. Unfortunately, I think my husband and I both have relationships in our families that will not mend. At least, at this stage I can’t see anything in the near future that would heal the rifts. Perhaps the saddest part of it all, is that none of us involved seem to care.
I have come to realise that we have two families, the one we’re born into and the one we choose (the funny thing about that is that exact line was on Days of Our Lives today…I have obviously turned into a soapie since being a stay at home mum!). Sometimes the one we’re born into is also one we would choose, sometimes its not. The tough part for us right now is that if we could have every one of our chosen family in the one city, we’d be fine, but they’re now spread all over the world. The other thing I’m starting to realise is that we are family…my husband, myself and our son. Eventually you have to just realise who knows you best, and who cares about you the most, and make those people matter. Not the rest of them.