Weddings & Objections

I LOVE weddings, and I’ve been thinking about them a lot lately because my BFF is getting married August 2nd and I’m only going to have 3-4 weeks of post-birth recovery time, depending on when Nick gets here! Nothing will motivate a new mum to exercise like a red bridesmaids dress hanging in the closet! We’re going up to the site Saturday to see it decorated for a wedding they have that day. Also, I was supposed to be in one in Iowa this coming Saturday, but given my current situation that’s no longer happening. I hate that I’m going to miss it, as Sarah, another of my BFFs, was in our wedding in 2006 and I’m so happy for her and her fiance.

But what about when you’re not happy for the people getting married? I know a lot of weddings have cut the “speak now or forever hold your peace” portion out of the ceremony, and you know why? The bride and groom don’t care if you object. Short of “he or she is already married” or “I slept with the bride/groom last night”, there’s nothing anyone can say that is going to change their minds.

So what do you do when someone you care about is about to make a huge mistake? Do you speak up before the wedding? How long before the wedding? Or do you not say anything? How many people after a divorce have said, “Why didn’t you tell me?” Do they think they’d have actually listened?

I’ve come to believe the best thing is to just let people make their own choices and their own mistakes. Its the only way some people learn.  Its not worth the problems it causes to speak up.

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